Talk to Baby, Baby Talk

Let’s ignore the irony of reading and writing blog posts during Screen Free Week.  Imagine you are reading this on one of those wide-ruled tablets we used in elementary school to practice handwriting, penned in green crayon, eagerly awaiting recess, the sandbox, trees to climb…

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Baby talk.  A cherished ritual, inspiring images of drooly bundles of joy cooing Mama, Dada, Ball, and/or Dog, while Mama and/or Dada coo back in singsong tones.  Baby talk is simple.  Baby talk is free.  Baby talk is perfect just the way it is.

Added bonus: baby talk is how babies learn to talk.

The anxieties felt by parents regarding their children’s development are well known.  Whether a byproduct of too much information, too many choices, too much peer pressure, or a prevailing too much, is hard to say.  But it is real, and we’ve all felt it.  Whether expressed via a well-child visit, a  gathering of friends, or on Facebook, all parents want their children to be the best they can be, if not better.  Thus, those first few words are precious, but soon we worry about the next ones.  Which should they be?  Is “serendipity” too hard?  How about “Twitter?”  How fast?  Which is first, ABCs or 123s?  What does Harvard expect by 18 months?

Anxiety is rocket fuel for consumer products, be they beauty care, vitamins, or children’s media and toys.   Marketers are smart (they probably said tons of words at 18 months), and have leveraged family angst by developing – and prominently labeling – almost everything for young children as “educational,” promising all manner of oft-unrealistic, unsubstantiated “learning.”  Thus, we buy videos for our little ones where characters sing about smart things like safari animals, or classical music, or shapes and numbers, hoping that they will learn these things.  And whereas child development is a gradual process, buying or downloading appeals to our desire for an “educational” quick fix, ergo its vast popularity.

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Unfortunately, for young babies screens simply don’t work well, if at all.  Cute and jazzy as they may be, they lack the ability to read baby’s social and emotional cues and respond in a truly interactive, loving way.  Thus, while appearing engaged, babies largely sit and stare, developmental engine idling.  Marketers are on to this critique and now apply the term “interactive” to newer stuff like touch screens that flash and make noises, but this is a feeble surrogate for a real, caring, multi-sensorial human.

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Interactive?

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Interactive!

This point can not be stressed enough: to develop to their fullest potential, babies need loving humans who engage with them consistently in the real world.  Parents are a child’s first teachers.  There is no better nor more critical education.

Babies and young children learn to talk by talking.  Analog mammals that they are, it is how they evolved, and evolution takes a really long time, regardless of incentives offered by Disney.  Babies love to talk.  They need to talk.  Talking involves a complex interplay of verbal and nonverbal cues – facial expressions, emotion, reaction – which no media can offer.   And hearing and engaging in everyday conversation with their grownups is how babies learn useful words – dog, ball, Mama/Dada, spoon, unplugged – ones they will remember.  Even if they did learn from screens, unless their family is exceedingly adventurous, what use do they have for safari words?  Wind instruments?  Spanish when no one at home speaks Spanish?

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The multi-billion dollar “smart baby” industry is a brilliant, profitable problem created to remedy a perfect solution.  Talking to babies as a means to learn language did not need to be fixed by Baby Einstein.

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Perfect. Priceless.

As is commonly observed, babies listen before they can say.  Thus, language development begins by being talked to.  The power of talking to babies has been illustrated via a number of studies, notably researchers Hart & Risley, who in a 1995 study found a huge, unsettling disparity in the number of words heard per hour by children in welfare, working-class, and professional households.   This added up to an estimated 30 million more words heard by age 3 by children from professional families than those in poverty.   Predictably, this correlates strongly with IQ, literacy, and academic performance, creating a vicious cycle.

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Of note in the context of this post for those thinking a daily dose of Eebee or Elmo is the remedy: “TV talk not only didn’t help, it was detrimental.”  Only words shared by caregivers promoted language.  This highlights the fact that screen-based media tends to interfere with – and replace – parent-child interaction.  Parents and other caregivers feel a false sense of security while their child is watching Doc McStuffins or using a “learning app,” and feel less compelled to simply talk to them (correcting behavior excepted).  And as with all screen media, “hearing words” is not the same as being spoken to.  One engages the child, the other doesn’t.  One is a path to healthy development, the other largely passes time.

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Recent studies suggest that a major reason for this disparity is that many parents, especially lower socioeconomic households, do not realize how important talking to their children is.  It seems too simple.  The swirl of misleading marketing increases misconception, as does misinformation from peers and other dubious sources, creating pressure for children to “learn” via electronic media.   Ironically, this is increasingly common in higher socioeconomic households, where technology is piled on to give children a “learning” edge (and keep them occupied).  Thus, a challenge for pediatricians, grandparents, and “old-school” advocates is to overcome this media storm with reassurance that simple unplugged time together is not only cheaper and less anxiety-provoking, but best.

A recent New York Times article describes an exciting “Talk to Your Baby” initiative being launched in Providence RI, designed to address socioeconomic language inequities.   In essence, parents are being coached to do just that – consistently talk to their babies – via sharing simple everyday activities, and then monitoring their progress.  There is hope that the simplicity of the desired behavior and low price tag, coupled with evidence that it works, will prove more effective than other, more complex interventions.  Whether through shared books, answering questions, or simply describing what a parent is doing during their regular day – tying shoes, cooking pancakes, making the bed – all of those words add up to great things.  Let’s hope so.

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Talk to me!

For the rest of us not living in Providence, let’s join the movement towards simplicity and learning through real-world experience during the first three years.  Three cheers for unplugging, snuggling up with real books, and wandering outside with a blanket to play in the yard (a beach for lucky ones), with a ball, a pet, or a box – and talking about them!

Thank you for reading – and happy Screen Free Week!  Share your thoughts!

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iHuh? Distracted by Devices

It’s been awhile since I’ve found the time to post, as I’ve been distracted.  Ironic, since today’s post is about just that.  Historically, distractions have involved here-and-now things like thunderstorms, Springtime, beaches, stars, and animals.  Modern distractions include more esoteric stuff like Facebook, fantasy baseball, and learning apps.  Once upon a time, the latter required a sense of place – i.e. TV in the living room, a computer in the office – but a wee 3 years ago (a toddler’s lifetime) a new category of distraction supercharger rose to the fore:

Tablets.

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I was recently forwarded a link to a wonderful experiment featured on ABC’s Nightline  - Generation iPad: Could Device Hurt Toddler’s Development? - conducted by researchers at the Barnard Center for Toddler Development, a playful place to work.   A group of children age 3-5 were provided with iPads in the center’s playroom, and in turn their parents tried to get their attention.  Most were enchanted by the devices and difficult to rouse, oblivious to  grownups, traditional toys, and each other.  This observation is akin to prior studies of the distracting effect of digital content on parent-child engagement, including background TV, videos, and e-readers.   Interestingly, there was one girl in the experiment who took no interest in the iPad whatsoever despite multiple offers, preferring dolls and a play kitchen – no doubt, a gene awaits discovery.

Interlude: it’s  important to note that children age 3-5 aren’t technically toddlers, but the findings here are  readily extended to them.

After a silent, screen-swiping span, the iPads were taken away, with varying degrees of protest.  The social awakening was striking, as the cohort began interacting verbally and physically, engaging their imaginations.  Like an entirely different species, they sought out grownups and one another, role playing, communicating, creating “food” out of blocks, and more.

“See how much their vocabulary has gone up?” lead researcher Dr. Tovah Klein noted.

It was a veritable modeling shoot for Baby Unplugged:

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Coming Summer, 2013!

In a word, the children were social.  Human, even.

Once the digital pause button was released in favor of unplugged options, the childrens’ brains resumed the deep-rooted process of assimilating and interacting with the world around them, aka playing and learning.  Clearly, iPads were distracting – technophilic bloggers might claim “educationally” so – but developmental concerns are highlighted via what these children were distracted from:

Parents.
Emotions.

Their own imagination.
Each other.

This begs the question – is this a good thing?  It’s a weighty list, one that should give us second thoughts about reflexively handing over our iPhone as a fussiness/boredom remedy.   True, digital media holds educational potential – Angry Birds as a physics tutorial is often cited – but in a very limited, 2-D, solitary context.

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I often cite the pediatric mantra “children are not small grownups,” and it  applies here.  Grownups may not need  the things digital media distracts us from – we may be tired of emotions and other people - but children do.  Engaging with the real world is an integral, hard-wired aspect of their development, laying the mental, physical, and spiritual foundation to stay healthy and happy.

Digital media and devices will eventually be a big part of all children’s lives, of course.  The genie is out of that bottle (as my devoting hours of screen time to this blog attests).  But to maximize healthy use, the real world must come first.  The first three years are ideal, during dynamic stages of development when children don’t even realize they are missing anything by staying screen-free (which they aren’t).   Thus, they benefit from immersion in a world of grownups, emotions, open-ended questions, sense of wonder, and other children, where critical skills are learned in a playful, organic, focused way.

Few skills are more important than self-calming, i.e. coping with disappointment, separation, and “boredom.”  In the experiment cited above, Dr. Klein stressed allowing young children to entertain themselves without the aid of devices, which short-circuit the developmental process.  Whether putting themselves to sleep, making up games, browsing up a book, or simply sitting quietly with their thoughts, children who develop psychic resourcefulness are more likely to use screen media in a balanced, creative way – inventing instead of consuming a-la Steve Jobs (who was a baby unplugged), or maybe not needing it at all!

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One final observation for parents, illuminated by the spooky spell that digital devices cast.  The utter disregard the majority of distracted children showed for their grownups – familiar to any of us who have conducted such experiments in cars, living rooms, or (please, no) restaurants – illustrates how increasingly easy it is to outsource ourselves.  We must resist!  Parenting is far too important, complex, rewarding, powerful, and fun to ever be outsourced to a device, no matter how “educational” it claims to be.  We must embrace and defend our hard-won, evolutionary status as teacher- and soother-in-chief and put technology in its proper place, especially during those first three, habit-forming years:

In a drawer, unplugged.

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Hooray for that!

Share your thoughts and experiences!  What’s the best way to introduce media in a balanced way?    Thank you for reading!

Toddler Time!

I was recently asked to comment on the importance of play for toddlers.  Alongside not-so-playful visions of trying to look in their ears, this took me back to the toddlerhoods of my own children.  Intense, but wonderful.  I love toddlers, enchanting outlaws of the baby world.  Their curiosity.  Their passion.   The word “toddler” is fun to say, too – onomatopoeia meets gross motor description.  You know a toddler when you see one.  Toddlers toddle.  Their parents’ brains toddle.

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Formally speaking, the “toddler” stage spans from roughly 1-2 years old.  It is a time of explosive growth, when children begin to develop powerful new skills that help them become more independent and make their own choices.  Thus, two major themes:

Theme #1: independence.

Theme #2: choices.

If toddlerhood were a holiday, it would be the 4th of July: celebration, fireworks, and all about independence.  Children usually learn to walk as toddlers (i.e. toddling), increasing their mobility and ability to pursue their passions.  Verbal language begins to emerge here, too (the first 5-10 words at age 1), and then explodes.  This allows toddlers to communicate needs and wants, describe their world, and interact with loved ones in a new way.  Evidencing their developmental workload, toddlers also learn to feed and dress themselves, play with increasingly complex toys, and use crayons, each dependent on advancing fine motor skills and an expert pincer grasp, which emerges around 9 months.

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The daunting toddler curriculum is rooted in the need to thrive in the real world – a critical foundation predating Sesame Street and the iTunes app store.  Their heavy workload requires focus and practice, making gadget-based quizzes and flashcards unnecessary, distracting, and stressful for parent and toddler alike.  Despite marketing claims, “educational” media directed at toddlers misses the point of toddlerhood entirely: developing a foundation of basic, real-world skills.  Screen media serves mostly as an anesthetic or pacifier – tempting during this intense time, but adding nothing of value.  This is why the AAP discourages screen-based media until after age 2 (and I extend to 3), allowing toddler and near-toddler challenges to be addressed.

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The world is a learning lab for toddlers.  Whether stacking blocks, sipping from a way-too-full cup, or trying to describe what the dog is doing, parents know well the oft-runny-nosed, beaming grin of success and tearful collapse of defeat.  Both shape confidence and self-esteem.  Consistent reinforcement and constructive feedback are critical, but frustration is common and normal –  the wellspring of tantrums, notorious “NOs,” and “terrible twos.”  Thus, it is important to be specific and firm while avoiding shame, as toddlers and their emerging skills are fragile and highly sensitive.

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agony of defeat

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thrill of victory

Whereas infants are fairly passive – i.e. fed when hungry, changed when stinky – toddlers develop their own ideas about what they want and when.  Nurturing this drive and requisite skills requires patience, love, deep breathing, and limits.  An artful method is to offer choices that are acceptable to the parent but the toddler in fact makes, i.e. “Do you want to read the manatee book or the hippo one, red shirt or blue…?”  Choices should also be limited, i.e. not “What do you want to eat?” but “Do you want grapes or an apple?”   Thus, no matter the choice, the toddler feels empowered, confidence grows, everyone wins, and peace reigns.

Though marketers work mightily to complicate toddler play and learning - and sell their products - I strongly believe that “old-school” activities and toys are not only nostalgic and good, but optimal.  These include store-bought things like blocks and peg boards, as well as repurposed ones like cardboard boxes, readily adapted to the evolving toddler skill set.  Boxes are veritable learning labs – open-ended, child-centered – where a toddler might first shake and pound on them (acoustics), then fill and dump (physics), then scribble in increasingly detailed ways (fine art), then make pretend cars and robots (engineering), then start their own business!  Thus, the old joke that a toddler likes the box better than the gift that came in it is rooted in developmental science – they crave this kind of exploration!

riding in a box car!

Other examples of fun, developmentally-robust activities for toddlers are  subjects of my Baby Unplugged books (pardon unabashed plug): Ball, Book, Beach, Yard, Pets, and the forthcoming Blocks and Wet.  All are true to the 90:10 Best Toy Principle - 90% child, 10% toy – which electronic toys and media tend to get backwards.  All promote a virtuous cycle of learning, where the activity inspires skill development and creativity, which inspires more complex play, which inspires more development and creativity, and so on.  Benefits accrue in 4 critical developmental areas, largely incompatible with screen-based media at this age: motor, language, social, emotional.

Emotional development is worth extra mention, as it is notorious in toddlers, earning them their outlaw status.  Nurturing a healthy, confident, self-soothing toddler requires patience and consistency, keeping choices and independence in mind.  This can be hard, especially with ever-present temptation of “educational,” screen-based options.  Resist them.  Though not as outwardly fragile, toddlers need as much nurturing and attention as they did as infants.  Healthy development is far too important be outsourced to cartoon characters or “interactive” devices – it requires real, caring people, as it always has.  The investment is worth its weight in meltdowns, paying lifelong dividends.

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toddlers are cute, too!

Like early childhood itself, the toddler stage is intense, wonderful, and fleeting.  Spending engaged, screen-free playtime together is not only the best way to promote healthy development and learning, it is the best way to show a toddler that they are valued and loved.  So take a deep breath, unplug, take pictures, and have fun!

Share your thoughts, toddler tales, and experiences!  It’s great to hear from you!